I recently got a text about a last minute change to a project. I started to text back “no problem” but caught myself.
I took some time to think, realized I wasn’t okay with it and texted back to let them know.
My people pleasing good girl almost pressed send on “no problem” before I could stop her.
Because if you were socialized as a woman, you were socialized to say YES not NO.
Bitch (my definition): a woman who says no.
Bitch: a woman who has boundaries.
Bitch: a woman who’s loud and has an opinion.
You were socialized to stay quiet, small, agreeable.
“Be nice, be likable, be pretty, be cool or you’ll never attract a man.”
Cool girl (my definition): a woman who doesn’t object
And this makes me so effing mad because sometimes assault happens because she’s trying to try to be cool.
So let’s burn this shit down.
As I’ve been building my NO muscle, sometimes people are not pleased. Sometimes ppl I care about think I’m doing it wrong.
And that can be difficult but I’m also learning that it’s okay. It’s safe. And it’s safe for me to say no.
And HONEST TO GOD, the more things I say no to, the more money I make in my business.
The biggest thing holding folks socialized as women from making big money, is saying yes to everyone else (and no to their dreams.)
So build your no muscle. You can start small by returning a clothing item that doesn’t fit or saying “not this week” to an unwanted coffee date.
And then build up to bigger and bigger nos.
The more you say no, the easier it is for others socialized as women to say no.
Let’s burn it all down. And get more money into the hands of those socialized as women.
You got this,
PS If you intuitively sense that what’s holding you back from your next income goal is to saying yes to everyone else, I can help.
This is the exact work I do with clients so they make more money in ways that feels EASEFUL.
You’re invited to a free one-hour consultation where we’ll look at how to build you some healthy sexy boundaries so you have more time and energy for your dream.