I received a text from a friend today asking for help promoting something on my newsletter.
I felt uncomfortable.
My first inclination was to JUST SAY YES, to people please and avoid conflict.
But underneath the ppl pleasing I could feel the nausea of self betrayal…
After writing a few texts back… and then deleting them before sending, I called her to see if we could find something that works for both of us.
I was nervous and uncomfortable at the beginning but ultimately we got to a place of mutual understanding.
In the past I never would’ve picked up the phone. I didn’t see healthy conflict modeled growing up so I honestly didn’t know it existed.
I thought the solution was to ppl please until you couldn’t stand it anymore and then either blow up in righteous anger or ghost forever.
And I was in chronic anxiety from people pleasing and walking on eggshells.
You don’t get to avoid discomfort. It’s part of the human experience. But you do get to choose WHAT KIND of discomfort you want.
And it’s not always simple. Sometimes it takes a couple of tough conversations to resolve a conflict. And I’ve even had some friendships end because they couldn’t handle it when I stopped people pleasing constantly.
But now I try to choose short term discomfort to avoid the chronic feeling of self betrayal anxiety.
And I honestly felt like a million bucks when I got off that phone today because it was over and I could enjoy life again.
Somatics helps you to process feelings in your body so that you can handle healthy conflict.
It also helped me to identify the nausea of self betrayal. I was ppl pleasing so much that I’d partially numbed the feeling. And I was a workaholic because if I slowed down, I’d feel the nausea/heaviness.
Somatics completely changed, so I’m SOOO excited to share these tools with YOU:
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- If you’re in the GTA – check out the Saturday Somatics Series. FYI TODAY is the last day to get all 4 workshops for only $200. Deets here.
- If you’re a coach, therapist or healer who wants to start using these powerful somatic tools with both yourself and your clients, check out the Advanced Somatics Certification. More info: brynbamber.com
