I used to think:
I’m not lovable. My best friend in elementary school always had a boyfriend but I never did.
I’m too assertive.
I’m not assertive enough.
I’m too confident.
I’m not confident enough.
There’s something wrong with me.
My first real relationship happened after a drunken week with the guy where the alcohol turned off my neurotic thoughts. It went well while we were long distance but when we moved in and weren’t drunk all the time and I went back into the anxious energy of not feeling lovable and he broke up with me.
Scientifically, the only way to get rid of negative neural pathways is to replace them with positive neural pathways.
So the only way to get rid of believing that I’m unlovable was to start believing something else.
Over the years I started to say:
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- I’m fun to be around
- I’m playful one moment and deep and serious the next
- I’m pretty
- I’m smart
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And the more I said it to friends and had them agree, the more I started to believe it.
And I know bragging seems selfish or frivolous when it comes to achieving your goals BUTTT it’s actually rocket fuel.
It’s the secret ingredient. It’s part of what helped me find a healthy relationship!
If you wanna hustle and grind to your goal, don’t worry about bragging.
But if you wanna wake up one day and say holy crap! I achieved my goal! It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought… then pick up your phone and text one friend a brag!!!!!!!
It can be small like: “I’m proud of myself for trying to be kind” or bigger.
This will make working on your goal way easier.
BUTTT bragging might be EXCRUCIATING at first… especially if you were socialized as a woman and/or have other marginalized identities.
You were told:
“Don’t get too big for your britches! Don’t get big headed!”
But in time the bragging gets easier and thennnnn your previously “impossible” goal begins toachieves itself.
So text your friend RIGHT NOW!!
Hugs,
Bryn
PS If you’re a current client or student join the free and exclusive 10 day brag marathon by hitting reply to this email with your name is on FB so I can add you to the group! Then I’ll send you deets :)! We start Tuesday!
PSSEVERYONE: this is most comprehensive free program I’ve ever offered… Feminist Somatics: How to Help ANY Client Achieve Any GOAL!
You’ll learn:
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- how to help your clients complete the stress cycle
- to support your clients to remove patriarchal programming from their bodies and brains
- even more tools to make achieving their goals FUN and EASY
- how to help your clients complete the stress cycle
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PSSSSS If you’re in Toronto come to the Wisdom of Pain Workshop. We ended up postponing it to Sat September 23rd. We’d freaking LOVE to have you!