At one point I hired a coach for multiple 5 figures to help me with my business. And I sent her a DM and she didn’t respond.
And in some ways I was indigent, like I’m paying you so much money you should respond to my DMs, even though that wasn’t a part of the coaching container I was in.
And it hurt to not be answered.
But it also taught me so
mething. That I don’t have to respond to every DM that comes my way either…
And I’m so grateful for the older sister type coaches I’ve gotten to meet that show me the way.
Like actually a lot of coaches who are making good money are very protective of their time and energy. They say no to a lot of stuff or don’t respond to it at all.
Because I was socialized as a woman I was taught to always:
-
-
- respond
- be kind and helpful
- be polite
-
And I’ve poured so much of my love and energy into other ppl’s businesses and careers and roommate hunts.
And sometimes it’s because I genuinely want to help a good friend. And other times it’s because I feel obligated to help this guy I just met at a friends bday find a job.
It’s taken me years of training myself to realize that I don’t have to respond to every single request that comes my way and I have the right to protect my energy so that it can go towards what’s important to me.
So I’m really grateful now that my coach didn’t respond to my dm. She’s helped me so much in coaching me live and responding to my posts in the FB group that was a part of the coaching.
But she taught me, just because someone is paying you and sends you a DM, doesn’t mean you have to answer… ever…
Part of closing the wage gap is to be more elitist with your boundaries. Protect your energy more. Don’t do everything everyone asks you to do.
Sometimes leave a text message on read…
Sending love,
B
PS If you wanna blow your clients minds with feminist somatic tools that help them get what they really want in life, join Blow Your Clients Minds with Feminist Somatics… even if you’re busy af this September. It’s gunna be worth it!
Join here 🙂 !
It’s going to be worth is because:
– You’ll see obstacles as growth
Like: you’re in a conflict with a client who wants to quit, by processing your emotions around it and making decisions you’re going to create a strategy of how to deal with every client that wants to quit going forward.
Then you’ll help your client see when they asked for a raise and got rejected is a way to learn about how to ask for all the raises they’re going to ask for, for the rest of their life! What did they do that they won’t do next time? What did they NOT do that they wanna do next time?
– Your clients will achieve the goal that they currently desperately want but don’t totally believe in
Like: they really want a monog relationship and to have a kid but keep dating folks who are poly and don’t really want kids because they don’t really believe their dream partner exists.
You’ll help them believe the partner they want is out there and so they stop doing shit that’s actually making it way harder to find them (aka spending all their time trying to convince their poly partner to become monogamous!)
Confession: this was totally me in my 20s btw!
– AND you’re going to feel so satisfied at the end the day because you’re helping your clients destroy their patriarchal mental block
Like:
Your client is trying to attract more clients and has a hot take on Elon Musks thoughts about the Barbie movie, but isn’t sharing them because it’s “unprofessional”
You’ll help the client see how professionalism is often a euphemism for covert patriarchy, racism, ableism etc. and how words btch, diva, bossy have long been used to stop folks socialized as women from sharing their true opinions!
PSSSS MY TORONTO LOVESSS the final workshop in the Saturday Somatics Series is Sept 23rd on the Wisdom of Pain. Some because your clients with chronic pain and emotional pain will thank you <3!! And because we’re going to have fun even though it’s a heavy topic!
