I used to feel betrayed if a friend was 15 minutes late to the restaurant.
“YOU MADE A COMMITMENT AND YOU LIED. WTF.”
But it was really about some commitments that were broken when I was little that absolutely should have been kept. I’m not actually enraged at my friend but at the person from childhood…
Then this month a friend agreed to run a workshop series with me and then ghosted me…
I felt enraged.
Until I realized I’m projecting my childhood experience on this friend.
It makes sense that this young part is enraged about what happened to me when I was a kid. What I went through as a kid was really hard and painful.
But it doesn’t apply to the situation with this friend. Maybe it does a little bit but not to the degree of overwhelming rage.
It’s been hard to uncouple these two experiences so I keep repeating to myself I’m projecting my childhood onto this person again and again.
And it’s shifting.
The weird gift of getting triggered af is that I’m healing this childhood experience by validating my inner child’s rage and hurt about the childhood experience again and again.
The more deeply I heal this, the more freedom I’m going to feel… in every area of my life.
If I’m not scared of “rejection” it’s going to make running my business and my friendships easier.
If you can relate, I hear you. This abandonment shit is effing painful… And the more you heal it, the more free you feel.
Hugs,
Bryn
PS If you have a sense that fear of rejection and/or abandonment stuff is messing with your friendships, career or love life, I can help.
Sitting with the hurt inner child is super painful and sometimes requires someone to sit with you.
Recently, I’ve had to have both my Core Energetics practitioner and some colleagues support me as I process these painful emotions. At one point there was so much intense painful energy running through my nervous system I was totally disoriented. I needed that practitioner to guide me through.
I couldn’t have done it alone. (And trying to do it all alone is part of my abandoned child’s old strategy.)
If you have the intuitive sense that healing this painful experience is what’s going to set you free and help you achieve your goal, book a free consultation here 🙂 !!