And I’m realizing now that it’s a text that I could spend years studying intensively. That the initial four days was only dipping my toe in.
In the text Krishna says, “By the delusion of the pairs of opposites arising from desire and aversion, O Bharata, all beings are subject to delusion at birth.” And ‘the Pairs of Opposites’ was something I was beginning to understand then, and as I continue to reflect I am able to understand more fully now.
Last week I went on vacation from Yasodhara Ashram, where I work and live. It was beautiful and special. It was spacious. I spent lots of time outside, with people I love and alone. I went to a few dance classes and helped my sister look for jobs in the non-profit sector.
And suddenly I was seeing the world outside of the Ashram as a beautiful place and almost immediately after this realization began to see my world inside the Ashram as a place of limitation and pressure. One was good and therefore the other must be bad.
Now that I’m entering back into the Ashram, I’m seeing the tricks of my mind. Yes, there are limitations and challenges living here, but there are also supportive aspects and beauty. There is an amazing team of passionate and intelligent women who run the place and who I get to work with.
And so it’s not that one’s good and therefore the other must be bad but both experiences – living at the Ashram and living away from the Ashram – are dynamic. In both experiences I have choice of how I work with the supports and limitations that exist. And in both situations I am in control of my life.
And for me – for today – that is transcending the Pairs of Opposites. Things are not black or white but grey. And wherever I am I can take responsibility for how I experience my life.