The holiday season is the Boundaries Olympics. There are events with family and friends and office parties and all sorts of situations where you get to say YES, NO or MAYBE.
And this season is going to be even more intense in some ways because we have the pandemic and everyone has different needs and values around that.
A lot of my clients have been struggling with over-giving lately, so I wanted to share a little more about what it is and how to begin to heal it.
There’s generosity and then there’s over-giving. With generosity, you’ll feel excited, loving, or passionate.
With over-giving, you might feel good about helping out a friend but you’ll also feel drained, frazzled, or overwhelmed.
I used to believe you either had high self esteem or low self esteem. I think we filled out a quiz in high school to see whether our self esteem was “high” or “low.”
And OF COURSE, I wanted to have high self esteem.
So whenever I had negative self talk or critical thoughts, I thought OH NO! I have LOW SELF ESTEEM! This is bad!! I must stop the negative thinking!!
I didn’t know I had invisible trauma until I was 29 and the only reason I realized was because I was in a 4 year mental health training program.
I don’t want you to have to do a big expensive training program to learn about this so I wanted to share signs of invisible trauma, so you can see if this is you. I’ll start with the definition.
I recently set a boundary with an acquaintance and he didn’t like it.
But I also survived. I didn’t die. And I got to keep my energy to do all the things I love to do and to help all the people I want to help.
Selling has been the hardest part of building my business.
I’ve never worked in sales, I didn’t come from a family of entrepreneurs and I never studied business in school.
I didn’t grow up with the “entrepreneurial spirit.” I never ran a lemonade stand, I didn’t sell pop out of my locker or start my first business at age 14.
Continue reading “I Hated Selling (and Why You Hate Sales Too)”
Core Energetics literally changed my life. Before I discovered it, I was anxious 90% of the time. It’d take me over a week to write and send one short email because I’d be editing and re-editing, worried about getting something wrong.
Continue reading “What is Core Energetics? (And Why Should You Care!)”
You have a secret self that has dreams for your future.
Do you secretly want to write a book? Put out on an art show? Open a restaurant?
My secret is that I want l to impact a lot of people but a part of me judges myself for being shallow. The goal of wanting to be “famous” seems absurd, rude, superficial.
I was raised to be nice and polite. Supportive. Giving. Compassionate.
If you’re a people pleaser, I’ve totally been there. Helping with a volunteer project because a friend asked or spending a long time at home visiting because my family wanted me to.
Sometimes after the holidays, I’d go back to more drained than before because I hadn’t done anything I wanted to do and only what my family and friends asked of me.
