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In my old job I worked with youth in custody in Northern Canada, at a youth custody facility for young women, some who were charged with very serious crimes. And they were fun and sassy and sweet teenage girls…

When I was there at this particular facility, 100% of the were indigenous (even though the area had lots of white ppl that lived there).

They had experienced love from their families but also had experienced abuse in their own homes and then, 100% of them had been taken away from their families and put into the foster care system with other families, many of whom were abusive and this time there was no love. After being placed in foster care, all of them had started abusing drugs and alcohol, usually at age 11 or 12. Then sometime after that they committed a crime.

I was part of a documentary film project with them and hearing their stories was harrowing… and it was eerie how similar each story was… even though we interviewed them one at a time, each girl had basically the same story. It was heartbreaking for me.

And it helped me see the dualism. Even with the girls who were in there for more serious crimes it wasn’t cut and dry that they were “bad ppl”. If these girls had had loving biological families with no abuse, or even had been placed in loving foster families with no abuse, would this have happened? My guess is no…

And yes some ppl live in a healthy family and end up committing crimes but there’s usually something at play. Mental health issues, substance abuse issues etc.

And you could argue that sometimes it’s pure greed or rage… but greed and rage are both part of being mammals, they’re part of our survival strategy of the human race… if humans were not greedy and rageful, our ancestors wouldn’t have survived, they wouldn’t exist.

And I’m not saying I support any of serious crimes. OF COURSE NOT.

But I don’t think ppl are bad ppl, condemned forever as evil, even if they do something that deeply hurts another.

And I am also trying to give myself that grace when I make a mistake and hurt someone’s feelings. I can’t be perfect either.

And I can apologize if it feels necessary but I don’t have to beat myself up forever about it.

And neither do you.

Continue reading “the patriarchy told you not to rest..”

If you’re a gazelle, you are indebted to the other gazelles that ran with you when the lions were chasing and that saved your life.

Continue reading “Debt in nature…”

A big part of why we have the Wage Gap is that folk socialized as women are over-functioning:

You’re working super hard
You’re loyal
You’re very dedicated

Continue reading “Quiet Quitting Smashes Patriarchy”

Begging

• Coming from a helpless energy
• Feels draining to the other person
• Secret demand
• If you don’t help me, I can’t handle this (child/victim energy)
• Fueled by fear/anger
  

Continue reading “Begging vs Demanding vs Asking”

The culture tells you that anger is bad, that it spikes your blood and you should be calm and grateful all the time.

But anger is what tells you:

– when a boundary has been crossed,
– when something’s not right,
– and when your boss is bullshitting you.

Anger is part of what has fueled:

– the Civil Rights Movement
– the feminist movements
–  the black lives matter movement
– me too

If you didn’t feel anger in your body you would look at injustice and feel calm and accepting and you wouldn’t be motivated to stand up against it.

Anger is your magic super power that motivates you to set boundaries and make change.

Hurray anger!!

Hugs,
Bryn

PS The flip side is when you suppress your anger, it can lead to mental and physical health issues. So it’s time to beat the shit out of some inanimate objects to process your anger through your body and then take action on the message from the anger.

This is the exact work I do with my clients. Here’s a video that gives you a sense of how it works:

Ann Bradney, who created Radical Aliveness, attended the same school I did and then changed it to create Radical Aliveness. This is the best video representation of Core Energetics (the somatic modality I’m trained in) I’ve seen.

If you feel drawn to exploring this, either in person in Toronto or on Zoom, let’s hop on a free consultation to feel into whether we’re a fit!

Let’s chat!

If you were socialized as a woman, you were taught to put everyone else’s needs before your own:

Continue reading “Why procrastinating smashes the patriarchy…”

Bob was so grateful for his Price is Right job… he always said, how lucky am I to get to give away prizes and trips for a living.

And it’s easy to say, “well if I had a job on a hit tv show, I’d be grateful too.”

But that’s not true because… Drew Carrie isn’t as content as Bob was.

Continue reading “I’m in my Bob Barker Era”

Continue reading “Science of Why You’re Doing Better Than You Think”

In the 2000s, when he was in his 70s, Hugh had seven girlfriends go to the club with him twice a week, specifically so the paparazzi could take pics and call him a “stud.” Afterwards they’d go home and “do the deed” all seven girls in the same room taking turns.

Continue reading “What Hugh Hefner Teaches You about Mental Health”