When I went to my grandparents as a child, my nana would cook a huge meal for the family. All 32 of us would pile into her tiny kitchen and fill our white plates with the brown curling borders with cheese pie, peas, mashed potatoes and iceberg lettuce salad with Kraft dressings.
We’d sit at the kitchen table to eat and then have our tea and cookies “in comfort” in the living room.
My mental health is the best it’s ever been, despite the pandemic and the lockdown and the February-ness we’re in right now.
A big part of it is because I’ve been working with the same amazing mental health professional for over 3 years.
My high school volleyball coach was tough. We’d run suicides at the beginning of practice and then if we complained about being tired she’d say, “Games are won by the team who can still play well tired.”
Sometimes we’d talk about her behind her back, but deep down I knew she cared. In gym class she taught us kickboxing and was passionate about us, young women, knowing self defense.
I was the kid who could always have discussions with adults. In fact, sometimes I felt like I fit in more at the adult table at family gatherings than in with my cousins.
I was the oldest child. I experienced some childhood trauma. I grew up fast.
In health class, we took a quiz to determine our self esteem.
Our teacher, Ms. Katz, was skinny and flat-chested. She never wore makeup and pulled her long blond hair into a low ponytail. She liked teaching Gym but not Health.
Although she was married, her face would turn red every time she had to talk about sex.
I was only going to send this to my goal group members, but then I realized you all need to hear this message. Perfectionism is what blocks you from achieving your sacred goals, whether you’re in the group or not!
The goal group started Monday and each participant received a workbook where they have a daily worksheet to fill out.
What if your goal wasn’t only about the money in the bank or the weight on the scale? What if it was about who you BECOME in the process?
How much more confident, caring and skilled do I need to become to be a fully booked mental health professional?
When I first started online dating, I was not good. My pictures were selfies with bad lighting. I was scared to message people, so I just waited for people to message me.
And, news flash, the majority of people who messaged me were not people who I wanted to date.
On March 16th, I was halfway through reading Cave in the Snow about Tenzin Palmo, one of the first Western women to become a Bhuddist monk. She lived and meditated in a cave for 12 years, 10 feet wide and 6 feet deep. She didn’t have a bed, only a meditation box that she sat in and meditated all night. No electricity or running water.
As a young girl watching Disney princesses, I learned they always needed to be completed by a man. And so I got the idea that in order to be complete I needed a husband.
That, of course, ended up being quite confusing because I was also attracted to women and because I had so many other ambitions that didn’t include marriage or motherhood.
