I am going to Nunavut next week for work and as it draws closer I’m realizing how scared I am.
There is a tightness in my heart that I can’t seem to shake. When I think about the trip, it gets harder to take full breaths.
My organization has been hired to help the Law Society of Nunavut develop and run workshops about the justice system in schools and youth centres. Since I am the person in our office who works the most with First Nation, Metis and Inuit youth in Ontario, I have been chosen to as the consultant for Nunavut.
I believe in the workshops I have designed and am excited to travel to the arctic for the first time ever. It’s an amazing opportunity.
And yet at the same time, I am really scared.
I have never travelled this far north before. I have no idea what my experience is going to be like, and that is terrifying.
I am diving into the unknown. And a part of me doesn’t want to. A part of me hates it. This part is screaming “DON’T DO IT!!” as I make my preparations. “Stay here!! Where everything is comfortable and familiar.”
And this feeling is familiar. It’s the same part that tells me not to have an uncomfortable but necessary conversation, the part that tells me to not tell him about the crush I have, the part that tells me not to tell my boss I disagree with her opinion.
This part loves familiarity and comfort and defends them at all costs. “Do not disrupt the status quo. Do not do something different. Do not wear that interesting outfit in public.”
“Stay small. Stay safe. Stay quiet. Stay in Toronto.”
Sometimes I listen to this voice, but it never brings me more joy.
And so I am going. I am scared but I am going.
Wish me luck, as I dive into the unknown.
Love this? Click here and get stories like these delivered to your inbox every Friday.
One thought on “Hating the unknown”