For me, pleasure has always been a dirty word. Something to stamp out. Growing up I was taught bad girls like pleasure and that I was a good girl.
And pleasure was always tangled up with sex. And since sex was associated with shame, pleasure always seemed like a shameful thing.
So I avoided it. I ran away from pleasure. I tried to be “a good person” but I ended up just being “a tired person.” Someone who worked hard and then snapped at the people I loved. Someone who beat myself up for the mistakes I made. And someone who wore my hard work as a badge of honour. “I am such a hard worker,” I thought, “and that’s why I’m so tired and grumpy.” And about others I thought, “If you aren’t as grumpy or stressed as me that means you aren’t working hard enough.”
But I never completely exiled pleasure. I had friends that I loved and we went on adventures. I made time to go for walks in the forest. I found a kind of dance that made me feel alive. I played music with others.
And I started to realize, that yes, sex can be pleasurable but its not the only form. And that maybe this pleasure thing wasn’t as evil as I once thought.
What about feeling the sunshine on my skin? What about snuggling back into the covers when I realize it’s Saturday? What about a good cup of coffee?
And I realized that my world can be full of pleasure, if I pay attention.
This week at my contact improv dance class, I asked, “What if I lead with my pleasure?” Contact, as we call it, is an improvisation based dance and so I listened to my body and did the next dance move that felt good. I was dancing with a woman who I’ve danced with many times before but it felt different. It felt more natural. It felt less rushed. And although there were moments where we sprinted around the studio: we weren’t rushing, we were running with delight.
The lifts seemed to emerge effortlessly. Suddenly she was stretched out on my back or I was stretched out on hers. They felt expansive. And there were several times where I went from kneeling to standing with her on my shoulder. The movement up felt strong and beautiful. I stood tall and she stretched out. And then we moved on. Dancing. Giggling sometimes, quiet others. Fluid and expansive movement. I felt alive.
And looking back now, I realize, I was lifting a heavy weight on my shoulder and it felt easy and even pleasurable. This can be symbolic for building my business. I can grunt and strain and lift the weights, or I can lead with my pleasure and lift effortlessly.
And this can apply to your business too. When you lead with your pleasure – create programs that you love to run, use marketing strategies that are fun and exciting, you can do the heavy lifting in your business from a place of pleasure and fun.
I don’t mean drinking wine and watching Netflix and never working. That’s pleasure but more so it’s hiding.
I mean the pleasure of connecting with your audience in innovative ways. I mean the pleasure of making up a song to promote your new program. Or choosing a color scheme that you LOVE. Or of a webinar on a topic you are SO EXCITED ABOUT.
If you want to learn how to build a business that makes more money and is fun for you to run, try out a coaching session with me. We’ll work on the root causes of why your business isn’t working, so that you can free yourself to building something that’s fun and profitable.
If you want to set up a session email me at email@example.com.