Ugly Hidden Parts

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I would easily call myself a feminist.  And yet there’s a part in me that hates women.  It cringes when certain women speak with confidence and gets annoyed when certain women take control of a situation.  Women, that this part for some reason, doesn’t think deserve to speak or have power.

When I realized that this was in me, I was very startled and saddened.  How can I be an advocate for change in others and at the same time harbour this part within myself?

And as I begin to look at it more closely, I am realizing that it is an old pattern in me and that it’s easy to indulge.  It’s easy for me to slip into annoyance or disgust and in some ways I feel like I can’t help it.  But on another level I know I have choice and when I realize what a destructive part of me is speaking it makes it easier to step back and not indulge.

Some people say that spending time at an Ashram is running away from the problems of the world, running away from the real work.  In an article on living in spiritual community Bo Lozoff writes that most people who come to his Ashram want a life that’s easier and when they arrive they realize really it’s harder.  Most people don’t last more than three months.[1]

At the Ashram I live at we are asked to genuinely look at ourselves and to take responsibility for our actions – including our thoughts.  And sometimes it’s totally ugly – like this part of myself that hates.

But if I’m going to advocate for change in the world, I have to start with myself.  And to start with myself I have to take the time to really see what’s happening for me.

And so I’m taking the time – finding out what’s really happening.  And as I do I can work for change within myself, live what I believe in and at the same time work for change in the world.

 


[1] Lozoff, Bo. “Life in Spiritual Community,” Ascent Magazine, Issue 11, Fall 2001.

Author: Bryn Bamber

I work with big hearted people who want to make a positive impact in the world. The only problem is: -Your career isn’t working -You wake up some days and don’t want to get out of bed -You’re stressed about paying the bills Career Coaching in the Forest teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. A life where you wake up to feeling a sense of purpose and easily pay the bills. I teach you how to approach making a career change in a way that is fun, easy and gets results :). I have over a decade of experience in the field of education and during my four years at an educational non-profit I hired enough contract staff to know what employers want and DON’T WANT in the job application process. So why did I start this? When I was 24, I was overwhelmed by my job working with vulnerable youth and fell apart. I moved to a yoga centre for 2 years to put myself back together. There I figured out what I was messing up at work and became a yoga and meditation teacher. Career Coaching in the Forest will help you to see the mistakes you’re making without having to move to a yoga centre! And use meditative practices to help you see where you need to go. I know exactly what it feels when something’s not right in your career and now I love helping others to make changes so their lives can become full of meaning and purpose again and so that you can make lots money too ;). Start today: get my Free Resource: Land Your Dream Job Checklist here - tinyurl.com/dreamjobchecklist And above all else, please go for your dreams. Your life has meaning. You are here for reason. Find out what it is and when you do put all you that you got towards it! Talk soon! Bryn To learn more go to www.couragecompass.org

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