Anxiety

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I am studying my anxiety.

Today I am working with a group of people that have just arrived at the Ashram to take part in the One Month Program.  We are working together in the garden harvesting sunchokes.  We finish the job just in time and arrive late to reflect with the others.

My mind starts spinning with facts about first impressions and habit forming – about how since this was there first day it would have been better if we had been early so they  could have more smoothly introduced to the process.

At the same time my mind starts spinning about how since we are late things will go wrong and how now their experience of reflection is ruined.  A dramatic part comes in and starts grasping for evidence that I have ruined everything.

As my afternoon continues I move in and out of the anxiety.  Once it has started spinning, it’s challenging to stop completely.  I breath deeply and it subsides for a few moments then it comes back.

The rest of the afternoon I spend organizing changes so that I can spend the day at a workshop. A part of me doesn’t believe I deserve to go and as I make the changes the anxiety continues to come up.  My anxiety is connected to my self worth.

I write about it in my reflection.  I talk about it with co-worker.  It continues to spin but as I begin to understand it better it begins to have less power.

And as I write now a part of me is still spinning, still unsettled, but that’s okay.

Anxiety is a part of my life, but it doesn’t need to control my life.  And as I see more clearly where it is coming from – a place of shame, and a dramatic place – I can make better decisions about how I want to live and work.

Author: Bryn Bamber

I work with big hearted people who want to make a positive impact in the world. The only problem is: -Your career isn’t working -You wake up some days and don’t want to get out of bed -You’re stressed about paying the bills Career Coaching in the Forest teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. A life where you wake up to feeling a sense of purpose and easily pay the bills. I teach you how to approach making a career change in a way that is fun, easy and gets results :). I have over a decade of experience in the field of education and during my four years at an educational non-profit I hired enough contract staff to know what employers want and DON’T WANT in the job application process. So why did I start this? When I was 24, I was overwhelmed by my job working with vulnerable youth and fell apart. I moved to a yoga centre for 2 years to put myself back together. There I figured out what I was messing up at work and became a yoga and meditation teacher. Career Coaching in the Forest will help you to see the mistakes you’re making without having to move to a yoga centre! And use meditative practices to help you see where you need to go. I know exactly what it feels when something’s not right in your career and now I love helping others to make changes so their lives can become full of meaning and purpose again and so that you can make lots money too ;). Start today: get my Free Resource: Land Your Dream Job Checklist here - tinyurl.com/dreamjobchecklist And above all else, please go for your dreams. Your life has meaning. You are here for reason. Find out what it is and when you do put all you that you got towards it! Talk soon! Bryn To learn more go to www.couragecompass.org

One thought on “Anxiety”

  1. Hello Bryn! It’s always nice to read your texts. I particulary like this text about anxiety….you put words on feelings that are sometimes hard to explain. I hope you’re having a wonderful time at the Ashram. Light! xx

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