How to keep going when you’re scared

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Do something that scares you. Live a little. Start before you’re ready. You’ll never be ready.

I was delighted to find this note in the drawer of the table I was working at today.

I recently had someone ask me a terrifying question. He asked, if you could do anything what would you do?

And the part that was scary wasn’t that it was the first time anyone had ever asked me that.

It was that he was serious.

~

I have been working since January 1^st with Dan Blank, the founder of WeGrowMedia. I signed up for WeGrowMedia’s program that kick starts the process of audience research, branding and seed marketing for the book I am writing.

When he asked me what I really wanted to do, he was asking, “What kind of business can you build that would start to build the audience for your book? What kind of business do you want to start tomorrow?”

So I went through a process. I wrote down every memory of feeling truly alive and every memory of feeling truly awful or disgusted or like I wanted to die. I ended up with over 200 cards and spent one morning in a café spread them out over tables, sorting them, categorizing them.

In the pile of cards that made me feel alive, there were many many cards about being led through or facilitating a group through a well-designed workshop or group process. It didn’t really matter what the workshop was on – it could be a canoe trip or a stats class – but when everyone was learning – I loved it.

And the better job the facilitator did, whether it was me or someone else, the more that we all learned and the more alive that I felt.

So I went back to Dan and said okay – I’ve kind of figured it out. I love facilitating and being a part of people’s learning process.

His response was – every time you’ve done this, you’ve been working for someone else. What would that look like if you were to do this for yourself?

What would the experience be? What would interactions look like? How would it be connected to the book?

Ideas start to fly through my head but as soon as I started, another wave of thoughts took over: I don’t have the credentials; this group will probably think I was copying their work; this other group would think I’m completely self centered; there’s no way I can do this.

So I told Dan that I couldn’t do it.

Dan – but it’s really what you want to do?

Me – yeah.

Dan – Just start building it. You don’t have to launch it yet.

Just start building.

And so I did. And for the past two months I have been moving back and forth between total exhilaration of generating and working on my ideas and the complete terror that if I launch I will fail, I will lose money and everyone I know will disown me.

The Solution

I am now using what I’ve learned from writing a blog for the past couple of years:

1. Tell yourself you won’t ever publish or launch your productI write better when I tell myself, I’m not going to publish this, I don’t have to publish this.
2. Polish, polish, polish. The once the article is written or the product created. I completely change my tune and tell myself, we’re publishing this – time to make it as beautiful as possible.

So if you could do anything what would you do?

I created the Burnout to Brilliance Facebook Group, as a place where you can share your biggest dreams, your successes and your failures.

We’re small and beautiful right now and I’m excited to have our community grow. If you want a private space to get support, please join us and feel free to share with others who need support – https://www.facebook.com/ groups/709703142546627/ and don’t worry, it’s 100% free.

 

Take good care of yourself!!

Bryn
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Bryn Bamber
Career Burnout Coach
The Courage Compass
bryn@couragecompass.org