What can anger tell us?

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I open up the email and I feel a tightness in my throat and chest. I want the email to disappear.  My skin starts to crawl. I’m pissed.

I’ve been working on project and one of the collaborators sent a message that I don’t agree with. I know better than to respond to an email when my skin is crawling. I step away from my computer and resolve to answer the next day.

In a 2014 interview for Creative Live, Brene Brown discusses anger. She says that anger is almost always a boundary issue. In short, if you are angry at someone, it probably means that on some level you haven’t set a strong enough boundary with this person.

I grew up in a house where anger wasn’t expressed and most of my life trying to hide my anger and push it away.  I’ve always thought of anger as a negative emotion that I shouldn’t be feeling. Hearing Brene Brown discuss anger as an indicator of a boundary issue, anger as something to be curious about, feels like a completely new concept to me.

Anger can be good?  Anger can tell me something I didn’t know about myself?

When I think back to the email that made me angry, things become more clear. This collaborator and I have been trying to work together for months and I’m finally realizing, it’s not working for me. As we move into the next phase of the project, I’m not willing to collaborate. This is my boundary.  It feels good to say it.

I am learning that I can’t push my anger away and at the same time build the life that I want.  It’s uncomfortable.  And it can be messy.  But I’m learning to acknowledge my anger and I’m learning to trust it.

 

Do you want to:

  • Learn more about your emotions?
  • Stop feeling so drained?
  • Have more time for what you love?

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Take care of yourself!!

Bryn
——
Bryn Bamber
Career Burnout Coach
The Courage Compass
bryn@couragecompass.org

Author: Bryn Bamber

I work with big hearted people who want to make a positive impact in the world. The only problem is: -Your career isn’t working -You wake up some days and don’t want to get out of bed -You’re stressed about paying the bills Career Coaching in the Forest teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. A life where you wake up to feeling a sense of purpose and easily pay the bills. I teach you how to approach making a career change in a way that is fun, easy and gets results :). I have over a decade of experience in the field of education and during my four years at an educational non-profit I hired enough contract staff to know what employers want and DON’T WANT in the job application process. So why did I start this? When I was 24, I was overwhelmed by my job working with vulnerable youth and fell apart. I moved to a yoga centre for 2 years to put myself back together. There I figured out what I was messing up at work and became a yoga and meditation teacher. Career Coaching in the Forest will help you to see the mistakes you’re making without having to move to a yoga centre! And use meditative practices to help you see where you need to go. I know exactly what it feels when something’s not right in your career and now I love helping others to make changes so their lives can become full of meaning and purpose again and so that you can make lots money too ;). Start today: get my Free Resource: Land Your Dream Job Checklist here - tinyurl.com/dreamjobchecklist And above all else, please go for your dreams. Your life has meaning. You are here for reason. Find out what it is and when you do put all you that you got towards it! Talk soon! Bryn To learn more go to www.couragecompass.org

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