Based on which articles I have loved and which ones have been viewed the most, I’ve curated the top five articles of 2016. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I have enjoyed writing them!
A friend is 40 minutes late for our coffee date but I give him a hug and act as if he is on time. A colleague doesn’t show up for a meeting we’ve had planned for a long time, but I shrug it off and reschedule. The internet install guy drags out a simple procedure that should take 20 minutes so that it takes over 3 hours, but I smile, make polite conversation and laugh at his jokes.
I have gotten good at acting as if everything is fine. I have gotten good at hiding my anger. I have gotten good at avoiding conflict at all costs.
Photo credit: Richard Jansen
I sat on my bed. Could I really do this? Was I really qualified? I didn’t have the proper credentials. Who did I think I was?
What were people going to think of me? My friends were probably going to lose respect for me. What a stupid idea.
My chest and throat felt tight. My breath was shallow. I lay back and covered my eyes. What could I do?
I was starting to think something was seriously wrong. I was tired. So tired, that some days at work I would go home early and straight to bed at 4 pm.
I started trying different solutions – I stopped drinking coffee, started drinking green smoothies every day, and I was planning to get my thyroid levels tested. But nothing worked.
Last month I spent a week on the North channel of Lake Huron with 85 family members and old friends. By day three, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. I’ve gotten more introverted as I’ve gotten older. I couldn’t deal with the number of social interactions.
I was upset. This was suppose to be my vacation. This was suppose to be relaxing and reinvigorating. I felt drained and felt like it was the extroverts fault. Why were they subjecting me to this? I felt like they were predators that pounced when I wasn’t expecting it. I felt like they were vampires that sucked me dry. I felt brittle, withered, helpless.
Sarah came over to my apartment for dinner last week. We ate frittata and roasted sweet potatoes and our conversation wove from privilege to self care to music. In our chat I was most interested in how Sarah had known for so long that a just food system was what she wanted to spend her life working towards.
Courage Compass: Set Your Direction for 2017 – free upcoming events
Inspiration for the New Year with the Courage Compass Podcast featuring Swami Lalitatananda
Airs January 1st, 2017
Set Your Direction – a free online workshop – REGISTER HERE
January 2nd, 2-3 pm