Elsa’s mom, Frozen 2
As a young girl watching Disney princesses, I learned they always needed to be completed by a man. And so I got the idea that in order to be complete I needed a husband.
That, of course, ended up being quite confusing because I was also attracted to women and because I had so many other ambitions that didn’t include marriage or motherhood.
I didn’t acknowledge my queerness until many years later and hid my deeply ambitious side because of this. And I spent a lot of my twenties and early thirties feeling like a failure because I didn’t have a life partner or a house with a white picket fence.
So it was deeply healing to watch Frozen’s Elsa, after a dramatic fight, gallop across the screen on a horse-water-spirit to find that she was the one she’d been waiting for.
It wasn’t a man, or a woman or a non-binary person that completed her. It was herself.
And that’s true for you too.
A few years ago, I started saying, “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for” to myself every time I caught my eye in the mirror. And I have to tell you, as cheesy as it sounds, it feels fucking good to genuinely say that.
So try it right now. Stand in front of the mirror, or open up the selfie cam on your phone and look into your own eyes and say, “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for.”
Knowing that I’m the one I’ve been waiting for, has changed every area of my life. In my romantic relationship, I don’t expect my partner to make me happy. In my business I don’t need my clients to prove that I’m successful.
And of course I fall out of it at times, I forget that I already have all that I need. But the stronger I build this belief, the more my life expands.
In Frozen 2, Elsa goes to Ahtohallan by herself to find the truth about her family. She has to fight certain battles on her own. But then she can’t do it all alone. After she’s gone as far as she can, she calls out to her sister for help.
And this is LIFE. You have to do some things on your own. No one can help you. And then there are other things where it’s deeply healing to ask for help.
Sometimes it feels confusing to me to balance the two: my beautiful independence and my ability to receive.
I don’t want to be in 100% victim mode and needing help with everything. But I also don’t want to be 100% in independence mode and not asking for help ever.
There’s a middle path where you get to do both. You get to be fiercely independent in one moment and soft and receptive in another.
I’ve hidden so much of who I am to fit in, to be the woman I thought society wanted me to be but I’m done with that now.
I’m fiercely independent and ambitious. I’m also playful and soft. And I’m deeply spiritual even though I like to swear sometimes.
And you get to be the specific combination of attributes that you are, regardless of what society has told you to be.
You’re the one you’ve been waiting for.
You’ve got this,
Bryn
P.S. If your intuitive sense is that at this stage of your journey, you need to bring forward some softness and open to receive support to get to the next level of healing, I want to invite you to a free one-hour consultation with me. In the consult, I’ll support you to bring more of your authenticity forward and look at what is in the way.
My clients find that through our work, they connect deeply to their intuition, they heal and are able to make aligned changes in their career and in their romantic relationships. I want you to get all the support you need to create the life you want and working together could be what gets you there. Send an email to bryn@brynbamber.com to schedule your free session.
