In health class, we took a quiz to determine our self esteem.
Our teacher, Ms. Katz, was skinny and flat-chested. She never wore makeup and pulled her long blond hair into a low ponytail. She liked teaching Gym but not Health.
Although she was married, her face would turn red every time she had to talk about sex.
The self esteem lesson wasn’t nuanced. Basically, she said high self esteem is good and low self esteem leads to abusive relationships or addiction.
And this really stuck with me.
If I woke up one morning feeling heavy, I’d think “OH NO!! I have low self esteem!! I’m probably going to end up addicted to drugs.”
This wasn’t conscious. I just would have this subtle feeling of impending doom… And since it was unconscious I continued to believe it into my 30s until I found the thought lodged in a cobwebbed corner of my brain and began to question it.
And what a relief…
I don’t have to have happy happy thoughts all of the time?? I can have days where I wake up heavy and it doesn’t mean that something’s seriously wrong with me??
And this applies to you too.
You’re a human being. It’s safe for you to have days where you feel like shit. It’s safe for you to think negative thoughts and it doesn’t mean that your self esteem record is forever tarnished and you’re going to end up addicted to heroin.
Bad days and shitty thoughts are not fun. But they don’t mean that you’re irreparably broken either.
Even folks with high self esteem have worries and doubts.
And this is the work I do with clients. If we were to work together, I’d support you to look at your negative thinking, see where it’s coming from, accept it and also reduce its grip on you.
When an unconscious thought comes to the surface, it can begin to dissolve in the light. And we’ll work with your thoughts one by one to move towards freedom.
If you want to explore whether this’d be a good fit for you, reach out and we can hop on the phone.
Take the best possible care,