Busy used to be my drug of choice because I wanted to be a “good girl.”
It was socially acceptable to get black out drunk on a Friday or binge t.v. on a sick day but Sunday – Thursday I needed something to numb the deep pit of loneliness in my stomach.
Working hard, volunteering, and coffee dates with friends were the ways that I could run from my feelings.
In this capitalist patriarchal society over-working, over-giving, and over-volunteering, especially for those of us socialized as women, is celebrated.
“I’m so busy” is a badge of honour.
But actually, workaholism and compulsive people pleasing are addictions. It’s a way to numb the feelings you might be scared to feel.
I didn’t slow down until I burnt out completely. I jam packed my calendar until I was so emotionally exhausted that I didn’t want to get out of bed. I finally got hired at my dream job, I had great friends, my own cute apartment, my life on paper looked great, and yet I was drained and overwhelmed.
I told myself that I was incredibly privileged so I didn’t deserve help.
Only when I reached a breaking point, did I consider slowing down and asking for support.
I quit my job, moved to an ashram for 2 years, studied yoga and meditation, and began my healing journey.
And you might need to take the next step on your healing journey too.
There’s a toxic productivity obsession that’s hurting you.
And if you were socialized as a woman, there’s rampant people pleasing and over-giving that can lead to chronic health and mental health issues.
This isn’t your fault. You were socialized to think that being perfect and incredibly productive is what creates your value. That your role is to take care of everyone else and put your needs last.
And you have a choice about whether you want to continue to live this way.
The first step is awareness.
Conduct an audit on your last week:
- Where did I prioritize productivity over my own well being?
- Where did I over give?
- Where did I people pleasing when I really wanted to say no?
- In what relationship am I most likely to people please?
Just by bringing awareness, you’ll automatically begin to shift these patterns.
And if you want to go even deeper into exploring what can help you to get out of these patterns so you actually have the TIME and ENERGY to pursue your dream, I can help.
I want to offer you a FREE one-hour consultation where we’ll explore the dream you have, what toxic patterns are getting in the way, and how you can begin to change them.
I promise you’ll have a shift right on that free call and we can explore whether working together further is the right support for you to achieve this dream.
Comment below if you have any questions about toxic productivity, my journey, or the consultation.
Take the best possible care,