Intergenerational Patriarchal Trauma

*TW: sexual assault*

When your grandmother was born, sexual harassment was more rampant than it is today.

And even in 2018, in the US, 81% of women reported experiencing some kind of harassment or assault.

This impacted how your grandmother navigated and coped and how she raised your mother or the primary caregiver who raised you.

So you’re not only dealing with the patriarchy of today but the patriarchy of the past and how that impacted the grown ups that raised you.

Oh and then dump on the traumas of war(s), persecution based on race and/or religion, and anything else the past few generations of your family went through.

Because of all of this, it’s sometimes those closest to you that teach you that:

      • Your body isn’t thin enough
      • You’re too loud and too much
      • You’re a diva
      • You’re selfish 
      • Be pretty but not slutty
      • Be confident but not cocky
      • Be focussed on finding a man, not a career
      • But also be focused on finding a career

There’s a thin sliver of space where you’re allowed to exist.

And all these messages were reinforced by magazines, tv, at school and at work.

AND THEN you beat yourself up when you have a hard time reaching a goal like getting your creative business off the ground.


For centuries those born with uteruses were taught:

      • keep quiet
      • take care of everyone else for FREE
      • and to never be opinionated

This was passed onto you.


So you might have a little intergenerational trauma between you and your dreams…

Be gentle if it’s not going as quickly as you thought it would. This makes total sense.

And through gentleness and love for yourself, you can break this cycle.


      • You’ll need to rest and hibernate and integrate.
      • And other times you’ll need to push yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone.

And you’ll build a relationship with your intuition so you know when to REST and when to PUSH.

And the most beautiful thing about this impossible goal you have, as fucking difficult as it feels sometimes, is that to achieve it you need to learn to be kind to yourself, to heal, and to be free.

So take one baby step today. Take a deep breath, put a hand on your heart and ask your intuition: today do I need to rest or push?

And listen to what comes. And then take this tiny baby step towards your beautiful goal .

You got this,


PS If you need some support healing the intergenerational trauma to make way for your dream, I want to offer you a free consultation.

We’ll look at where you are now, how the patriarchy and other systems of oppression have gotten in the way and what can help you to heal so you move towards this goal.

Book here.

Author: Bryn Bamber

Career Coach Bryn Bamber helps people like you find a career that’s aligned with your goals. Her Burnout to Brilliance program teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. Start today with your FREE Checklist: Decrease Stress and Get an Hour of Your Day Back! Get it here - Learn more about Bryn & the Burnout to Brilliance program at

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: