In 2022 I had two family members pass away so there was a lot of grief.. 2023 has been for the most part less acute and painful…
But then yesterday an incident happened that brought the grief back to the surface. Grief expert Krista St Germaine calls these grief grenades.
When something unexpected triggers your grief seemingly out of nowhere
So I feel it bubbling up again, this heaviness in my chest.
And I don’t wanna feel it.
I tell my clients to welcome painful feelings and yes I do believe that and also sometimes I don’t wanna fucking take my own advice.
It hurts and a part of me wants to binge the rest of Queen Charlotte and get away from it.
But another part of me wants to process it. So I’m here, writing to you.
Art, whether it’s writing, singing, dancing, or painting, can transmute your grief.
Put your grief into your art. Write a poem. Do an abstract drawing with crayons. Put on a sad song and dance.
It doesn’t have to be “good” , it just has to be a vehicle for your feelings.
Because that is what art is: a vehicle for big feelings.
And if you can’t create yet, consume art. Listen to Holocene by Bon Iver. Watch Bridget Jones Diary again. Read John O’Donohue’s poetry.
There’s research that watching a show or reading a book helps complete the stress cycle because you mirror the emotions of the main character.
And most importantly, be gentle with yourself.
When my perfectionism gets mixed up with my healing work, I can demand that I sit in a quiet stark room alone with my grief for 8 hours and FEEL IT ALL.
But that’s not what I really need. I need quiet chats with good friends. I need soft sad music. I need to journal about how the family dynamic has shifted after losing this person.
So if you are having a hard time with your grief, I get it… Me too…
Be as gentle with yourself as you can.
PS If you’re in Toronto and you wanna join a sacred circle of coaches, healers and therapists doing somatic work for themselves and learning how to share it with their clients, check out our Saturday Somatics Series here!
PSS Next week is the FREE WORKSHOP: Somatics for Healthy Boundaries which will be another sacred circle. Learn more here!