Sxual Fantasy Work

Imagine my sxual fantasy is:

I make a mistake, losing the company a lot of money. In my boss’s office, I ask, “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you….?” He meets my gaze, locks the office door, pushes me up against the wall and… you can imagine what happens next…

To work with your fantasy somatically:

1) Feel

Imagine the fantasy. Breathe and welcome the sensation of pleasure, as much as you’re willing to.

And welcome any other sensations that come, maybe fear or shame or something else, into the body as well by breathing into them.

2) Pleasure

Ask yourself: what moment in the fantasy brings THE MOST pleasure? Go to that part in your mind… like the moment my boss meets my gaze and pushes me against the wall… and then welcome the sensations that come.

Where do you feel these in your body? Are they hot or cool? Pleasurable or painful? Welcome whatever sensations are present with slightly deeper breaths.

3) Ask

Tune into whatever sensation is the strongest and breathe into it. Ask this sensation: do you have a message for me?

Wait to receive.

Fantasies bring pleasure to challenging experiences. For example, if you were shamed when you made a mistake growing up, maybe you’d have a dominated by your boss fantasy.

Your unconscious brings some pleasure into this challenging experience so it’s more tolerable.

This doesn’t mean you should get rid of the fantasies as an adult. Fantasies are sacred and you get to keep them and use them as a source of pleasure or role play.

And bringing awareness to the reasons they’re here, lets you keep them as fantasies and not act them out in real life.

For ex. Just because you have a fantasy about your boss, doesn’t actually mean you want your real life boss to push you up against a wall.

And if you want to learn these sexy feminist somatic tools to use with your clients in a trauma informed way, the Feminist Somatics Certification is for you! To start learning some of these techniques today, come to the Free Somatics to Heal Patriarchy Workshop Series!


Author: Bryn Bamber

Career Coach Bryn Bamber helps people like you find a career that’s aligned with your goals. Her Burnout to Brilliance program teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. Start today with your FREE Checklist: Decrease Stress and Get an Hour of Your Day Back! Get it here - Learn more about Bryn & the Burnout to Brilliance program at

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