Patriarchy Made You Codependent

Codependence looks like:

Your emotions are acutely tuned in to the other person’s emotions. You know when they’re frustrated or upset and have a hard time being calm when the other person isn’t.

Higher self anger is the force that breaks this codependence force field.

But when I started, my anger was so suppressed I couldn’t even tell when I was angry. With the support of my Core Energetics practitioner and friends, I started to acknowledge and eventually celebrate my anger.

Higher self anger created the BLM movement and every single wave of feminism.

And it can protect your precious energy so you can write a book or be the best parent possible or start a healing movement.

You have to PROTECT your energy so that you can channel it where it’s meant to go.

I learned in childhood to keep my energy field open, to be nice and sweet and friendly, at all times.

But that doesn’t serve me now.

Here’s how to use Higher Self Anger to break Energetic Codependence:

1) Angry Journalling

When you find yourself even slightly annoyed at the person, GROW THIS ANGER by journaling about what annoys you, the ways that they’re in your energy field and how that doesn’t serve you.

You learned “anger is bad” and at times it can be but it also has a sacred purpose of breaking codependent connections.

2) Set Physical Boundaries

These could be:

      • not replying to a text
      • not answering a phone call
      • telling a white lie to avoid spending as much time with the person
      • or going to a cafe or sleeping over at a friends if you live with them

Tune into your intuition about the length of time to set these boundaries before you reassess.

3) Track Guilt/Shame

If you were socialized as a woman or raised in certain religious traditions, you might feel GUILTY for setting any kind of boundary. So track this guilt and remind yourself that it comes from the patriarchy or your religious upbringing. Even though it feels like shit, guilt is sometimes the result of detoxing toxic cultural norms.

The cool thing is once you burst this energetic codependency bubble, sometimes you can actually build a healthy relationship. Although sometimes you need these boundaries permanently. 

I’ve experienced setting really intense boundaries for 5 years+ and then being able to rebuild a new healthy relationship with the person which is pretty fucking cool.


Go forth, be a B.I.T.C.H. and set those boundaries!



PS If you found this helpful, send it to a friend who needs this message!!

And if this was forwarded to YOU and you want MOREE, sign up for the Witchy Feminist Somatic Newsletter here :)!

PSS If you want more tools to deal with energetic codependence join the FREE PROGRAM Feminist Somatics: How to Help ANY Client Achieve Any GOAL!

You’ll learn how to help your clients:

      • complete the stress cycle
      • remove patriarchal programming from their bodies and brains
      • and make achieving their goals FUN and EASY

Join here! <3

PSSS TORONTO!! Make sure you sign up for the IN PERSON Wisdom of Pain Workshop for Coaches, Therapists and Healers in September.

More info here ;)!

Author: Bryn Bamber

Career Coach Bryn Bamber helps people like you find a career that’s aligned with your goals. Her Burnout to Brilliance program teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. Start today with your FREE Checklist: Decrease Stress and Get an Hour of Your Day Back! Get it here - Learn more about Bryn & the Burnout to Brilliance program at

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: