I feel very in-process with this abandonment stuff. Some moments I feel strong and others I feel wobbly and unsure and scared.
I know I’m on the right track and doing this healing work is going to free me up so much.
And sometimes it feels like a lot.
I realized today I have the belief:
If I have any needs, my needy abandoned child will take over and repulse everyone in my life that’s healthy.
I learned how to not be needy. I learned to be smart and witty and a good girl to get the attention I needed.
And this effs with my friendships today.
The truth is:
Your friends don’t want a robot version of you who pretends not to have needs, they smell that bullshit.
I know when I sense that with a friend, I wanna hear about their vulnerabilities and what’s really happening.
This young part of me believes: I can only ask friends for help when I’m in crisis. And I can only ask for help when I’m “weak”.
And I have to stay “weak” to be deserving of help. No one will wanna help me if I’m strong and powerful and rich.
If you struggle with abandonment stuff too, I get it. This stuff is hard. And it’s worth going on the healing journey.
PS If you want support from someone who gets it, I have spots open in my one on one practice. You can book a free consult here 🙂 !!