Fixed vs Growth Mindset

You were taught the fixed mindset in school. If you got a 49% on a test, you failed.

And it wasn’t seen as an exciting opportunity to learn from your mistakes. You weren’t seen as brave for attempting something that doesn’t come naturally to you.

You were seen as not smart.

The fixed mindset says that smarts and skills are more or less fixed.

You’re smart or you’re dumb. You’re good at math or bad at math. You’re an athlete or unhealthy and uncoordinated.

The growth mindset, on the other hand, believes that skills and smarts are learnable. That failure means you tried something new or difficult and can make your stronger or smarter in the long run.

You probably have a growth mindset about a toddler learning to walk.

If the toddler falls, you don’t immediately say, “Hmmm… she fell, she might not learn to walk after all.”

“Oh shit, she KEEPS FALLING… she’s really bad at walking… this probably isn’t going to work for her.”

The growth mindset says: look at her, trying and failing. Look how motivated she is. She’s definitely going to learn to walk.

And research shows that developing a growth mindset, makes it way more likely for you to achieve your goal. And that a fixed mindset, can easily be changed in a growth oriented one.

(Check out Carol Dweck’s book Mindset for all the studies.)

In the growth mindset if…

…you go on a first date and it’s terrible, you think:

I’m learning about what I like and don’t like in a partner.

Or I’m practicing my social skills.

Or hmm… there were some yellow flags in her profile, I’ll pay more attention next time.

…if you don’t get into the grad school you want, you ask yourself what can I learn from this experience?

And in a real example from Dweck’s book, she emailed the grad school and said, “I fully respect your decision to not admit me, but I was just wondering if I was to apply again, what would you recommend I do differently?”

The grad school decided to admit her because she was right on the ask and they appreciated this initiative.

…if your mom calls you chubby at a family dinner and you don’t say anything even though you promised yourself you’d leave the next time that happened… you get curious about why you didn’t leave.

You realize that you don’t want to upset your dad and decide to have a private phone call with him so that he understands what’s happening if at the next family dinner you decide to excuse yourself.

In the fixed mindset…

… you make the failed date mean you’re unlovable and you suck at dating and there’s really no good women left out there…

…you think you’re too stupid for grad school…

… and you decide you’re bad at setting boundaries…

Now it’s not your fault if you have a fixed mindset, 12 years in the school system will do that to you!

AND…  you can move from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.

During the Healing Cocoon, you’ll go on a 5-week journey with others who are deeply committed to growth and healing. And a growth mindset is one of the underlying foundations of all the exercises you’ll participate in.

So, if you want to fall in love, or improve your communication with your spouse or get a new job that’s more fulfilling, this program will help you do that.

We start Weds Nov 8th in Toronto.

Learn more and register here 🙂 !!

And if you want to do a 6-month deep dive into developing a growth mindset so you can overcome the old fears that came up when you started your business or heal your chronic back pain, book a free consult here to explore working together <3 !!

Scholarship spots are still available for the 6-month program.

Learn more here 🙂 !!