After a break up, including friend break ups, there’s a period of renegotiating territory.
Like your favourite bar. Or your mutual friends’ party. Or your fav FB group on unicorn breeding.
We are mammals and although we don’t pee on shit to mark it as ours anymore, energetically we still do.
So here’s what to do to keep feeling safe in your fav spaces and with your fav ppl, after the break up:
1) Bumps are Temporary
When the territory renegotiation starts, it’s going to feel bumpyyyy. A break up significantly changes the energy between you and the other person and it’s going to take a minute for the energetic territory to reconfigure.
But in 6 months or a year, it’s going to feel like no big deal again. So yes it sucks the first time you run into him on mainstreet. But in 2 years, you won’t even notice him on the other side of the street.
2) There’s no rush
When you think about a wolf pack, the pack that claims the territory isn’t the wolf that rushes around frantically peeing on everything. It’s about confidence and physical strength.
And in the modern world it’s about confidence and energetic strength. And also there’s strength in numbers with your fellow wolf pack members aka your friends.
3) Ask for help
It’s not just about the strongest wolf, it’s about who you have in your pack. So if you wanna go back to your favourite bar, ask a good friend who you know will have your back. And make a plan of what to do if you run into your ex. Maybe you’ll wanna leave. Maybe you’ll have your friend talk to them. Maybe you’ll say hi politely and then camp out in a different part of the bar.
But I know you’re super independent and do everything on your own, but it actually works better in a pack, so ask for help.
4) Take a stand
What do you want? Do you want to go to the mutual friends party? Do you want to go to your fav coffee shop stress free? What’s your goal for 6 months down the road?
This isn’t about texting your ex and saying “you’re never allowed at Squirrley’s again!!”
It’s about slowly building your capacity to take up space, in the spaces you wanna be in. Sometimes after an amicable break up you can negotiate like, “for the next 3 months, you go Squirrlies on Fridays and I’ll go on Saturdays.”
But the long term goal is to teach your nervous system that it’s safe for you to take up space, in the spaces you wanna be in. And that your ex/ex friend can go where they want to too.
Don’t try to do it alone. The lone wolf has a harder time surviving. Gather your pack and slowly and steadily reclaim your space.
You got this,
Bryn
PS If you have the intuitive sense that I need to be a part of your wolf pack, I already have my elbows out energetically to make space for you.
Let’s talk about your goal and whether working together is the right fit.
Book a free consult – https://tr.ee/X3Cakq_MpZ
PSS Toronto peeps… there’s something that I can’t tell you yet… I will as soon as it’s allowed to be public. But what I can say for now is that if you’ve been thinking taking one of the Somatic Healing Workshops, make sure you get in on at least one of the next 3 experiences because I’m not sure how many there will be going forward, at least in the way that we’ve been running them.
Doing this work in person is life changing because you can really feel the energetic fight for territory when we’re all in the same room together.
Final Upcoming Workshops:
Asking and Receiving Workshop
Sat March 2nd, 10 am – 2 pm
Somatic Healing Intensive: exploring your masks, darkness & your light
Fri April 12th, 7 – 9 pm
Sat April 13th, 10 am – 5 pm
Grounding and Presence Workshop
Sat May 11th, 10 am – 2 pm
Learn more: brynbamber.com/cocoon/
