It’s bright and sunny out today. I can see the teenager bright green leaves of a large tree blowing in the wind outside my window.
Last weekend was quite emotionally volatile for me and by the end of it I felt like I’d been hit by a bus and couldn’t figure out how to return to a calm and grounded state.
But then yesterday I had a breakthrough.
I took the full day off and in the morning I read for a while and then got sick of reading so started to write. I’ve been doing a slightly modified version of Julia Cameron’s morning pages. I don’t necessarily do them in the morning and I don’t necessarily do them everyday but some days at some time I write and simply pour out whatever has been clunking around in my brain. I put it all onto the page and seem to feel more settled after I do it.
I’d been feeling disconnected from my body and not sure how to stay fit with all my dance classes being cancelled, so I was writing about that. I haven’t been able to bring myself to the online dance classes. I wrote about the lack of exercise and how it seems completely impossible for me to stay motivated to stay in shape during this time.
Then I wrote about a video I’d watched on Facebook of one of my friends dancing with a yoga ball. He was finding ways to float and roll over the ball, similar to the ways we usually float and roll over each other in my favourite kind of dance, contact improv. It was beautiful and heartbreaking for me to watch.
And then I had the idea of taking a yoga class. There was a yoga teacher on YouTube I used to really like a few years ago so I thought maybe I could look her up again. Then I continued to write about other things but eventually convinced myself to stop writing and take a short yoga class.
I couldn’t remember her name at first so was poking around my email trying to find it. I know I’ve recommended her to friends before by email. But then while I was looking and still not finding her name floated into my brain, SarahBethYoga.
I found her classes easily and chose one that was 10 minutes long. I wasn’t ready to commit for an hour but 10 minutes seemed do-able.
As I got into the class, I was able to breathe deeply. I stopped following the exact instructions and did what felt good for my body to stretch and move. I made my way into a meditative state and was calmer than I’d been all week. I decided to take another 10-minute class and then stopped. I felt better than I had in a long time. It felt like magic.
I’d been feeling so incredibly stuck and emotionally drained but taking some time to write and listening to my intuition really helped. I was able to do a full 180 emotionally and end up in a completely different place.
So if you’re feeling stuck and emotional my recommendation is to carve out some white space – some time where you don’t have anything planned. And for all the parents with your kids at home, you might be able to carve out an hour but if you can’t see if you can carve out 3 or 5 minutes.
Take some deep breaths and connect to your intuition. Ask, “What will best support me?”
Then you can write stream of consciousness like I did or go for a walk or lie on your back – whatever makes you feel relaxed and helps you to connect with your intuition. See what comes.
When an answer comes, make time for it as best you can. I had a real shift from 20 minutes of yoga. It doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment.
Listen to what your intuition wants you to do. Maybe she wants you to:
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- Go to bed early
- Order take out for dinner
- Go for a walk
- Masturbate
- Text a friend to say you’re having a bad day
- Bake cookies
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We’re all in this together but we all have very different circumstances. What you need is going to be different from everyone else, so take a few deep breaths, feel into your intuition and ask what you need.
And if you’d like some support connecting to your intuition, I’d love to support you. That’s why I’m offering free or pay-what-you-can Emotional Support Circles for female-identified artists, healers, and entrepreneurs.
You’ll connect with your intuition and also receive support from the other women+ at the circle.
Next date is Friday, May 29th from 1:30 – 3:00 pm EST.
You can learn more and register for free here.
Sending you warm thoughts,
Bryn
