I recently set a boundary with an acquaintance and he didn’t like it.
But I also survived. I didn’t die. And I got to keep my energy to do all the things I love to do and to help all the people I want to help.
I used to not have boundaries because I didn’t want anyone to be mad at me. I would do everything for everyone and wouldn’t consider my own needs. I would work and work and work until I got sick or exhausted and only then would I rest. Then I’d work and work and work again.
This is what I looked like:
I didn’t have any energy to think about me, my purpose, and what I really wanted to contribute to the world. And I didn’t have as much energy to give spontaneously to family and friends because it was all used up on things I’d been asked to do.
So if you’re scared of setting boundaries because you think someone will be mad at you, I want to give you some tools that can help.
- Go to The Boundaries “Gym”
Setting healthy boundaries is like going to the gym. The more you practice, the easier it gets. If you’ve barely done it at all, you can start with a tiny boundary, a small weight. For example you can call in sick to work on a day when you’re sick.
I remember when this used to be hard for me and I used to question, “Am I really sick enough??”
Another “small weight” you can practice with is to postpone a phone call on a day when you feel overwhelmed.
The more you work on your boundaries, the easier it becomes and you’ll have more and more energy for you and the things you loved.
- Some People Won’t Like It
“The only people who don’t like your boundaries are those who benefited from you having none.”
Some people won’t like it when you start setting healthy boundaries and that’s totally okay. Those people have every right not to like your boundaries.
And you can still set healthy boundaries.
I know it can be nerve wracking but in time you’ll start to learn that it doesn’t kill you when someone doesn’t like your boundary. And that you get to keep more of your energy for the things that are important to you.
- You’re Not Going to Do It Perfectly
When you start to practice healthy boundaries, you’re not always going to do it perfectly. Sometimes you’re going to set a boundary that’s too big, and other times you’re going to a set boundary that’s too small.
And that’s okay.
Each time you set a boundary, you’ll learn and grow and get better and better at setting boundaries.
You’ll have more and more energy for what’s important to you! That can be your friends, your family, your business or your hobbies, however you want to use your energy.
- Go to The Boundaries “Gym”
When your energy is protected by healthy boundaries you can channel it into what you’re meant to do.
Maybe you’re an artist and you want to channel more energy into your art, maybe you’re a healer and you know there’s people out there that you’re meant to heal.
Maybe you simply want to be a good friend or a good partner, and you can channel your energy there.
Now, if this resonates with you, I want to invite you to set a FREE one hour consultation with me to talk about building your healthy boundaries and what will help you stay on track. I’d absolutely love to support you to find what tools can help you building healthy boundaries in your life.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule your free consultation.
Take the best possible care of yourself and your boundaries,