I didn’t know I had invisible trauma until I was 29 and the only reason I realized was because I was in a 4 year mental health training program.
I don’t want you to have to do a big expensive training program to learn about this so I wanted to share signs of invisible trauma, so you can see if this is you. I’ll start with the definition.
Invisible trauma: trauma that you don’t have any conscious memory of but that’s still stored in your nervous system. Sometimes to protect you from a painful trauma, your nervous system might block out the conscious memory.
Signs you could have invisible trauma include:
- Negative Self Talk
- Jealousy of people who remember their trauma
- Fewer memories from childhood
And there are also positive attributes folks with invisible trauma often have. You might be:
- Passionate or
Now, you don’t have to have ALL of these signs and characters because each of us is a little bit different but if you have a number of them, this could be an indication of invisible trauma.
Some steps you can take to begin healing TODAY (even if you still aren’t sure if you have it) are:
- Connect to your body – do yoga, dance, time in nature, masturbation or have sex with someone you trust
- Slow Down and Rest
Trauma happens fast, so you have to slow your nervous system down to heal.
Now, if you don’t like this advice, I can relate. There have been so many times on my journey when someone has said just relax and trust and my initial reaction is to tell the person to f*** off. When I’m anxious about my family or about my finances or whatever it may be, the last thing I want to do is slow down and rest.
And that’s actually because my nervous system is in a little bit of fight or flight so resting seems dangerous.
If you really aren’t ready to slow down, connect to your body first, exercise or dance and then see if you’re ready to rest afterwards.
- Practice choosing Authenticity over Attachment
As children we have to choose attachment over authenticity. You had to stay attached to your primary caregivers over being authentic. At 5 years old, you couldn’t move out or ask for different parents. Your primary caregivers are your sole source of food, water, shelter and love.
So you learned to hide your authenticity if your caregivers or parents didn’t like it. And because your brains was so plastic when you were a child you create strong habits of choosing attachment over authenticity.
Maybe you became a people pleaser or learned not to have any boundaries to maintain that connection.
But as an adult this often doesn’t serve you. If you’re people pleasing or you don’t have any boundaries with your best friend or your boss, this isn’t always the healthiest.
And it’s no longer the same situation as when you were 5. You have more options now. If you have a terrible boss, you can apply for other jobs. If your best friend is controlling, you can work at making new friends.So start taking baby steps towards more authenticity. Maybe you could politely disagree with your boss. Or tell your best friend you need to postpone your coffee chat on a day when you’re overwhelmed. Start taking baby steps towards being your authentic self.
Okay – you got this. Start taking baby steps today.
Sending you all the healing energy!
P.S. If any of this resonates with you or you think you might have invisible trauma, I want you to talk to you. On our free one hour call, we’ll talk about what’s happening for you, what challenges you’re facing, where you’d like to be and create a healing plan for you.
Core Energetics was the most important piece of my healing journey and so we can explore whether this can help you. Hit reply to book now.
Imagine a reality where your anxiety has reduced by 60%, you still go into shame spirals sometimes but you have the tools to get yourself back out and you’re happy in your day to day life.
That’s exactly what Core Energetics did for me and this is what I see it doing for my clients every week.
This can happen for you.
Hit reply and we’ll set up a time for you to get the healing support that you need.
P.S.S. Check out my video on IGTV where I go into even more detail on this.