What I learned from online dating..

When I first started online dating, I was not good. My pictures were selfies with bad lighting. I was scared to message people, so I just waited for people to message me.

And, news flash, the majority of people who messaged me were not people who I wanted to date.

My next phase, when I got a little bit better, was to find the one perfect person, I would message them, and wait and then… they wouldn’t message me back. And then I’d keep checking their profile and reminding myself of how amazing they were.  And then I’d feel like a loser and undate-able and would take a break from online dating…

But in time I got better. I realized that 80% of the people I messaged, wouldn’t message me back so that even if I found the PERFECT PERSON, I needed to keep going and find the next 10 interesting people write to them so that 2 of them would actually write back.

And I learned that a huge part of online dating was about ENERGY. When I was only talking to one person, I would get attached and feel like I NEEDED this relationship to work out. But when I was chatting with a few folks, I could be more lighthearted with everyone and not be giving off those needy vibes.

And I eventually had a lot of light hearted conversations going at once and that’s how I met the sweet guy I’m dating now.

So why am I telling you all this? Because this applies to EVERY GOAL!! 

When your energy is needy and graspy isn’t not going to work!!  Let me give you some examples:

  • If you keep following up the same potential customers who’ve already said, “Not right now,” it’s usually because you’re in some sort of needy energy. You believe there aren’t other people who want your product or service. AND you aren’t using your energy to serve all the people who want and need your products or services TODAY.

  • If you apply to a few DREAM jobs and are waiting to hear back, following up with them in a needy way, you:

a)  Likely won’t get the job because they’ll feel your needy energy.

b)  Aren’t using your energy to find the other amazing job that really needs your exact skill set now.

When your energy is going to something you got attached to:

  1. Those people are going to likely pick up on your needy energy which is likely going to repel them.

  2. Your energy isn’t going into the places need your help or gifts or love.

So ask yourself, when is my energy going to a place that feels stuck or icky or desperate?

And where do I want it to go? How can I release the attachment to this particular thing or person so that I can find someone or some company that’s super excited about me.

And if you want some support with this, this is EXACTLY what you’ll be learning in the FREE Sacred Goals Workshop that’s running THIS Saturday, 2 – 5 pm EST.




There will not be a recording, so please make it live if you can :). And email me at bryn@brynbamber.com if you have any questions.

Can’t wait to get you the support that you need to create your beautiful goals in a way that’s healing for you,


P.S. I was trying to log into OkCupid so I could show you the bad lighting selfie from my first ever dating profile but I wasn’t able to get back in!! So instead I screenshot one of the emails from them, which shows the code name I picked for myself so that I would be SAFE, “Shiquan” which was the name of a friend’s dog 🤣🤣🤣!

PSS Make sure to join us this Saturday if you can :). Join here – https://mailchi.mp/09e4da1be7d1/sacredgoals

Author: Bryn Bamber

Career Coach Bryn Bamber helps people like you find a career that’s aligned with your goals. Her Burnout to Brilliance program teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. Start today with your FREE Checklist: Decrease Stress and Get an Hour of Your Day Back! Get it here - tinyurl.com/getanhourback. Learn more about Bryn & the Burnout to Brilliance program at www.brynbamber.com.

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