Being trauma informed, in a nutshell, means you respect the other person’s boundaries.
Here’s why: trauma teaches you that healthy boundaries don’t work. Every single two year old says no no no no no! Until they learn, through psychological or physical trauma, that no doesn’t work.
If you’re trauma informed, when folks do say no, you treat it seriously. You help them learn their boundaries work in healthy relationships.
Of course, sometimes you might intuitively feel called to challenge your clients NO.
I love how Gabor Mate navigates this. He says, “Do I have your permission to challenge you?”
He gets permission or if they say no respects it and moves to another tool.
Now, you’ll make mistakes. You’re human. I’ve made these mistakes and every single coach, therapist and healer has too.
Folks who’ve experienced psychological trauma, are used to the figures of authority making mistakes and then pretending that what they did was right.
So one of the most trauma-informed things you can do when you realize you’ve made a mistake is to own it and apologize.
I remember with one of my Core Energetics practitioners, one of the things that built the most trust with him was him being 15 minutes late to a session, apologizing and adding 15 extra minutes to our next session to make up for the time.
It’s not about shaming yourself and groveling when you make a mistake. It’s processing any shame if it comes up on your own or with your coach, colleague or supervisor. And then when you’re in a clean place, apologizing for the mistake and making amends if need be.
And that’s exactly why I created the Somatic Deep Dive program, a 6 month experience where you get to practice using somatic tools with your clients and experience the somatic tools yourself. And you’ll learn how to use these somatic techniques in a way that’s both trauma and DEI informed.
If you want to learn more about the program, email me at bryn@brynbamber.com with any questions you might have or check out more details here.
