Add Don’t Subtract

When a client is anxious, often the first thought is: “I shouldn’t be anxious” or “I hate being anxious all the time, why am I anxious again??”

But what if instead of trying to SUBTRACT the anxiety, you ask the client to ADD love.

Typically if you have a high anxiety client, there’s a reason for it. They went through something really difficult that created this state.

And trying to get rid of anxiety by yelling at it or ignoring or judging or suppressing it doesn’t work.

If you think of a young child who’s scared or anxious, what they need is kindness, reassurance, maybe a hug.

So ask: at what age did this anxiety start?

And then ask them to send love to that age: the 6 or 8 or 12 year old.

They can send love by:

      • putting a hand on their heart
      • wrapping themself in a blanket
      • putting on a song they love
      • or visualizing the energy of love going towards the child. Maybe the energy of love has a particular color for them and they can visualize that.

Ask which method feels best to them and have them try it. Experiment with different methods to find one that feels good to your client.

The amazing thing is, usually when you add love, the anxiety reduces. It doesn’t always disappear completely but there’s some relief.

And then your client can tune into their intuition about whether they want to take any action regarding the situation they’re anxious about or not.

So when anxiety arrives: add don’t subtract.

And if you want to learn how to use this technique and somatic techniques for burnout, narcissism and co-dependence with your clients, check out the Advanced Somatic Techniques Program here.


Author: Bryn Bamber

Career Coach Bryn Bamber helps people like you find a career that’s aligned with your goals. Her Burnout to Brilliance program teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. Start today with your FREE Checklist: Decrease Stress and Get an Hour of Your Day Back! Get it here - Learn more about Bryn & the Burnout to Brilliance program at

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